After a very long week of school, work, and stress I can finally relax on the sandy beach of Hanauma Bay. This is what i have been looking forward to for weeks. Now that I'm here all I need to do is to enjoy myself with my family. As I enter the ramp towards the beach I enjoy the view and look for a free space where nobody is. the beach is packed and we have been pacing around the Beach for a while now. Now that we have a perfect spot in a shady tree all I need to worry about is how the water is.
I grab my mask and just dashed towards the water. As i raced through the shore, I can feel my feet get burned from the sand. As I arrived at the water, I took a few seconds to breath in that sea breeze. The best thing about swimming is the first dive into the water just because you want to feel the cool refreshing feeling that you haven't felt in a while. Diving onto the water feels as if you have just washed away all of what has been on you mind that has been bugging you lately.
As I raised back up to the surface to put on my mask I can see that the rest of the people are enjoying themselves. I'm not surprised that I'm not the only one that like this place because for a beach, it has a lot to offer. looking through the mask underwater is like looking through another world. You can see colonies of fish swimming right pass you. It reminds me of a small fish neighborhood with a verity of colorful fishes
When I go to this place its as if I could just stay here for a very long time. I will never get used you the sunshine that covers the beach like a blanket and also how the view of the water and the horizon is always so outstanding. Just thinking of leaving makes me want to look forward to coming here again next time and how its going to be different in a better way. I dont even think of school, work, and stress anymore
When I go to this place its as if I could just stay here for a very long time. I will never get used you the sunshine that covers the beach like a blanket and also how the view of the water and the horizon is always so outstanding. Just thinking of leaving makes me want to look forward to coming here again next time and how its going to be different in a better way. I dont even think of school, work, and stress anymore
Hi Unicorn c:
ReplyDeleteI like how you describe how you feel throughout the whole turn of events happening. I think you could be a little more descriptive about what it looked and felt like, even smelled. Your sentences are long, which is good in a way. Some of them are a little too long, which makes them seem like run on sentences. You may want to shorten them just a bit. Otherwise, great job!
Rencio!
ReplyDeleteAlright, you had good imagery for the most part like how you wrote "looking through the mask underwater is like looking through another world." Errors that were in your essay was your spelling (verity-variety), not capitalizing the first word of the sentence or capitalizing the "I's", and not having enough specific detail. In paragraph two you wrote, " I grab my mask and just dashed towards the water.", but what kind of mask? A Halloween mask? Just watch out for those things and you're essay will be A-OK! :)